The Freedom of Being Yourself

When you stop living for everyone else’s approval, you finally get to start living for yourself.

Somewhere along the way, I realized that every time I pushed through that uncomfortable feeling of being watched or judged, it got a little easier. Then something unexpected happened. I became more confident. Not because I suddenly stopped caring what people thought, but because I realized that their opinions didn’t actually change my life.

The more I let myself be silly, creative, adventurous, or just unapologetically myself, the happier I became. I stopped missing out on experiences simply because I was worried someone might think I looked weird.

The More You Embarrass Yourself, The Less Embarrassed You Become

It sounds backwards, but I genuinely believe it.

There are over eight billion people in the world.

Think about that for a second.

Why do I care what some random person, who I may never see again, thinks about me? If something genuinely brings me joy, why would I stop myself from doing it because someone I don’t even know might judge me?

If I’m not hurting anyone, then I’m not hurting anyone.

If someone chooses to be annoyed by me having fun, that says more about them than it does about me. Of course, I still get embarrassed sometimes. I’ll be filming a video in public or posing for a photo in the middle of a crowded place, and I’ll notice people looking at me. For a split second, I want to stop. Then I remind myself that they’re just strangers. They don’t know me. They don’t know why I’m doing what I’m doing. They don’t know my goals, my dreams, or what makes me happy. And honestly, I’ll probably never see them again. So why would I let a stranger determine whether I get to enjoy my life?

We’re all looking at the world through completely different lenses.

Something I’ve also learned is that judgment is incredibly personal.

One person might think what you’re doing is ridiculous, while ten other people think it’s amazing. Someone might laugh at you, while someone else is inspired by you. Someone might think you’re being obnoxious, while another person admires your confidence. We all like different music. We enjoy different movies. Some people love sports. Others love science. Some people spend their weekends cooking. Others are happiest crafting, hiking, traveling, reading, dancing, or creating content online. We have different spiritual beliefs, different values, different morals, different passions.

It would be impossible for every single person to approve of everything you do because we were never meant to all be the same.

Being your own person means accepting that not everyone is going to understand the things that make you happy, and that’s okay.

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned is that sometimes the people judging you the most are the people closest to you.

There have been seasons of my life where some of my closest friends made fun of things that genuinely made me happy. They laughed at my ideas, questioned why I was doing something, or made me feel like I should be embarrassed. At the exact same time, complete strangers were cheering me on. People I had just met were encouraging me, complimenting my work, and telling me to keep going.

That completely changed my perspective. I realized I wasn’t doing anything embarrassing. I was simply surrounded by people who didn’t appreciate the things that made me who I was.

A true friend doesn’t have to share every interest you have. They don’t have to understand every hobby or dream. But they should be happy that you’re happy. They should encourage you to become more of yourself, not less.

If everyone around you constantly ridicules the things that bring you joy, maybe the problem isn’t your interests. Maybe you’re just around the wrong people.

Find people who celebrate your wins, who clap when you succeed, who encourage your weird ideas and your creative passions. Find people who make you feel more like yourself instead of making you shrink.

Life is so much more fun when you stop asking, “What will people think?”

Instead, start asking, “Will this make me happy?” Because years from now, you won’t remember the strangers who looked at you. You’ll remember the memories you almost didn’t make because you were worried about their opinions.

I’m really glad I stopped letting strangers decide how much joy I was allowed to have.

I hope you do too.

Ways to Challenge Yourself to Be More Fearless

Sometimes confidence comes from proving to yourself over and over again that you could survive a little embarrassment.

Here are a few ways you can step outside your comfort zone and worry a little less about what other people think.

Go somewhere by yourself.

Take yourself out to dinner. Grab a coffee. Visit a museum. Go to a concert. Travel solo.

At first it might feel like everyone is looking at you. Then you’ll realize something pretty amazing. Most people aren’t paying attention to you at all.

Wear the outfit you’ve been saving.

You know the one.

The outfit that’s a little bolder than your usual style. The one you’ve convinced yourself is “too much.”

Wear it.

The people who love your style will notice. The people who don’t were never dressing you anyway.

Compliment a stranger.

Tell someone you love their shoes.

Tell them they have a great smile.

Tell them their outfit is cute.

Not only will it probably make their day, but it reminds you that talking to strangers isn’t nearly as scary as we make it out to be.

Post the video anyway.

Don’t spend hours wondering if people will think it’s cringe.

Don’t delete it because you’re afraid of what someone from high school might think.

If you’re proud of it, post it.

Dance when your favorite song comes on.

Even if people are watching.

Especially if people are watching.

Life is too short to only dance when nobody’s looking.

Try something you’re bad at.

Take a painting or pottery class.

Go to pickleball.

Learn to surf.

Take a dance lesson.

Confidence doesn’t come from being good at everything. It comes from being willing to be a beginner.

Say yes more often.

Say yes to the invitation.

Say yes to the weekend trip.

Say yes to trying something new.

Some of the best memories start with doing something that felt just a little uncomfortable.

Remember this

The goal isn’t to stop feeling embarrassed.

The goal is to stop letting embarrassment make your decisions.

Every time you choose joy over fear, confidence gets a little louder and embarrassment gets a little quieter.